Many mothers tell their daughters that they will never meet a husband in a bar. If you are over the age of 25 you will remember a show from the 90s called Blossom and Blossom's friend Six played by the actress Jenna Von Oy. She did just that, she met a man in a bar and married him. It has to work for someone right? So many singles go to bars someone is bound to meet their other half there eventually. I guess it depends on the type of guy you are wanting to meet as most bars do attract specific type. If you're a straight laced church goer, the bar is probably not going to work. So who does the bar work for? I'm not the type to go to a bar by myself on a Saturday night. Usually I go to a bar with friends, which according to some women's magazines can be intimidating for men and most men will not approach a group of women. So maybe the bar scene isn't for me. So then where? I go to church on a regular basis, but where I go doesn't seem to attract most single 20 something men.
How do you know it's time to change part of your search criteria? On my first post I listed some of the things I'm looking for. That has changed over the past few years due to age and experience. Most men my age that I have found have one of the following 3 that are on things that I don't want list: an ex wife, a child or children, or are smokers. I love children, but I know that dating someone who has a child can lead to drama. If there is a child there is also an ex-wife or baby mama. I have known women who use the child as a pawn in the game they are playing with their ex. I don't want to play that game. I know how that game affects the child and the parents, its not always a good ending.
As far as just having an ex-wife, that brings a lot of questions to my mind for him. Why did it end? Could the divorce have been prevented? Did one or both involved just give up and stop trying to make it work? I don't know how I would feel marrying someone who has been there before.
As for smokers, I think I may give up on this as a deal breaker because it is something that can change. I know you can't change someone, but is asking someone to quit something for health reasons asking them to change who they are? How would you feel if the person you were in a relationship with asked you to change a bad habit? Would you be offended? Would it depend on what habit they asked you to change? I know that I could stand to lose some weight and exercise more. Maybe if your SO gave you incentive to change and helped you with the change, would that make it better?
As always feedback and venting are welcome!
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